When Love and Hate Collide

Since the beginning of time, the world has revolved around the idea of love. It is written about, even by JK Rowling in Harry Potter, and even sung of by thousands of artists including The Beatles (all you need is love) and later when Paul McCartney becomes his own one-man-show (silly love songs). Lesser celebrated, for obvious reasons, is the idea of hate, or very strong dislike. I have recently had the two within myself for various occasions and since I haven't posted a blog in quite some time (a whole week!) have resigned to talking of this matter. Before I begin, I would like to give a partial excuse for why it may not be my best work- I woke up this morning at 4, and have been a little stressed, not to mention other stresses on my body currently. So, with that in mind, I will begin.
Ever since elementary school, and especially in middle and high school, I have been obsessed with having crushes on boys. Yes, most girls do like boys (I like to think anyway) but I remember my friends always saying, "Marie, you're boy-crazy" or, "now you like him too?" I guess this is best explained through a reference. You might compare me to The Ugly One when I say, "I have a crush on every boy!" Yes, at times it would feel like I do have a crush on every boy I have ever met, and even some I haven't. And although I like to deny this label, I will admit it can sometimes be true. I will like one boy, and as soon as I find out that another boy has any interest whatsoever in me, I change my mind. The annoying part is that I wind up having some inclination for whomever likes me. In the past this has been a curse- kind of similar to Ella Enchanted. Because of my inability to control it, and its sometimes depressing results. However, thankfully I have gotten over that phase, mostly, and am now in the second phase of my romantic life: liking only boys who don't like me. I think I prefer the first stage, but there's no going back, I'm afraid. The other down-side to this one, other than the obvious hurt, is the after-effect. I like a boy, and then when he shows his dislike or interest for someone else, I turn to dislike as well. I completely dislike him and his friend. I stop talking to him and avoid him completely. Thankfully, I am slowly going into the third phase, I hope, which is being realistic and being friends with people and not worrying about liking anyone. Don't worry, I'll keep my eyes open for that special boy to pillow-talk with me, but until then I will try to be happy with a few friends.


I hate/dislike some aspects of life/my personality. I wish I could just be happy "all day" and go about business as usual. But, for whatever reason, I can't get past the rude remarks or disrespect shown to me by others who are, granted, in a higher position than myself. And it's not like they're older, wiser, or richer than me, it's because of a stupid title that was given by another human being. I can understand that in order for things to happen there must be some hierarchy in life, and to be specific- work, but I don't understand why there must be degradation of another's opinions and being in order for that to happen. Why can't we all be friends and treat each other the way we want to be treated? "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God" and each should be treated as such. Just because someone is in a lesser position than yourself does not give you the right to treat them however you wish. I am reminded of the death of a homeless man by some youth not too long ago. http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/19/homeless.attacks/index.html Yes, this is extreme, but I have seen the same attitude displayed, to a much smaller degree, in my life several times. I do not appreciate this attitude, and will fight for equal rights and fair treatment for all of God's children. But hey, I'm willing to think that maybe I was disrespected in my life because of my big mouth or different ideas. But I will still at least try to treat others in the manner I would like to receive treatment. I dislike very much the attitude that some people have in thinking that they are superior to someone else, for any reason.

There. Two very different feelings within me at this time. Not really having anything to do with each other, but I need to have two cents to rub together either way.